(no subject)

OK, so this evening my heart is very heavy. I finally got the test results for Munchkin, and the prognosis is NOT GOOD.

Everything indicates advanced renal failure. So in essence her kidneys are shutting down, and while I could give her sub-cutaneous fluids, they wouldn't do much more than prolong the inevitable. And the fluids wouldn't actually do anything to effectively relieve her suffering. She's had fluids (300cc) twice in the last two days, and she feels better for about 3-6 hours each time and then she feels like crap.

So, Munchkin is dying. She's about a month shy of 17 -- near as I can figure, since I adopted her at about 4 months. And as the vet told me yesterday that's at the upper end of life expectancy for a cat.

I hate this -- making these decisions. I worry that I'm being selfish, whichever choice I make. But it's my responsibility, since she can't *speak* for herself. And I've made the decision, with as much honesty and compassion as I can.

So I'm taking her to the vet for the last time tomorrow evening. Good-bye my Bella. I love you.